Today was my last counselling session and with Hazel by my side I released a gold star-shaped balloon for you. Symbolic and very emotional. I tied one of your cards to the balloon and wrote on it "Dear Adam, love you and miss you forever darling, mummy xxx" Sometimes when you were messing about you used to call me mummy, just like when you were little. The balloon took off easily, it was a beautiful bright and sunny November morning. But after a short distance it got stuck in some very tall trees at the edge of the hospice grounds. We could see it glinting but it was really stuck,wedged in the branches. But then two big black crows flew onto the branch and shook the balloon free. Off it soared high into the very blue skies and we watched it twist and turn for ages - because it was gold, the sun caught the balloon and it was easy to keep it in our sights. Black/gold, black/gold as it twisted in the sunshine and shadow. Hazel said she had never seen a balloon fly so high before, it was very special to see - but we would have expected no less and I told her that of course it was special, just like you. Finally the balloon was just the tiniest speck. It disappeared right into a fluffy white cloud what seemed like miles away - perhaps you caught it the other side....